Valentine’s, Party of One: A February Love Story
Written by Melissa Armstrong, LIMHP, LADC
Every February, the world seems to drape itself in pink ribbons, heart-shaped chocolates, expensive flowers or jewelry, and restaurant reservations require strategic planning to obtain. Couples are everywhere. It seems like they all walk hand in hand, stroll past storefront windows glowing with roses, gaze into each other’s eyes and listen to the violinist that is probably warming up somewhere in the distance. If you happen to be single, the month can feel like the spotlight in on you and your “lack” of a partner. It can be very lonely, feeling alone. It can also feel lonely being with the wrong person.
But here’s the secret no one advertises on the greeting card aisle: being single in Valentine’s season is not a consolation prize. I think we tend to get the impression that there is something “wrong” with us that we haven’t been chosen. This is also not elementary school dodgeball. But the feelings of not wanting to be picked last Farmer-in-the-Dell style are still the same.
Culturally, singlehood is sometimes framed as a temporary waiting room, the space before “real life” begins. Yet anyone who has lived independently knows that this stage is anything but empty. Careers grow here. Friendships deepen here. Personal traditions form here. Confidence quietly builds here, often without fanfare.
Valentine’s season offers a useful reminder: life is not paused while you are single. It is happening at full speed. The trips you take, the skills you learn, the people you meet, the evenings you spend discovering what genuinely makes you happy—these are not placeholders. They are the story itself.
Valentine’s marketing tends to frame romance as something delivered from outside, as though joy arrives only in something from someone else. Like, in a bouquet handed across a table, or a proposal in front of the world. But one of the underrated advantages of being single is the ability to design experiences purely around what you enjoy. Hopefully, you are doing this whether you are single or a couple. Joy comes from the inside. Call it self-care if you like, but it is also something more: practice in recognizing that your own company is already worth celebrating.
Because Valentine’s Day, at its core, is supposed to be about recognizing love. And if you look closely, you may notice that love shows up in many forms: in friendships that feel like family, in the independence you’ve built, in the resilience that carried you through difficult months, and in the quiet satisfaction of knowing you can create joy without waiting for someone else to deliver it.
